Thursday, February 9, 2023

Momma's Boobery - Always on Tap?

Four nights ago (2/5/2023) we had such a big moment in the feeding category. For the first time, we were able to have a successful latch and feed without a nipple shield!

Something that sounds so simple and yet I cried when it occurred.

At your doctor's appointments they always ask how you intend to feed your child. My philosophy is that as long as she is fed, that's truly what matters. However, I really wanted to give nursing an honest try.

I had heard it could be hard...
- Your body may not produce
- It may be too painful
- She may have trouble latching
- You may produce but it might not be enough and you'll need to supplement
- It's time consuming

What I never expected was that nursing and pumping would become one of the biggest things that caused me anxiety and stress.

"It's just a matter of feeding your child."

Yes...but no. It has felt like so much more than that.

Our little girl entered the world 6 weeks early and because of her early arrival we faced some complications that caused us to become a NICU family. (A topic I'm still working up the courage to discuss) Due to the extra care she was needing, we didn't get the opportunity to try nursing right away. 

The concerns started immediately and filled my head.
Would she ever be able to nurse?
Would she only want a bottle since she hadn't known me first?
Would my body not be able to produce because she wasn't trying to feed from me?

I tried really hard to not be discouraged. I still met with the lactation consultant and focused on what I could to produce. We may not be nursing but I could still put in an effort to provide her with breast milk. I poured all my efforts into pumping. 

I began pumping the day after delivery. My first session I only produced .5 milliliters. Religiously I would hook up to pump every 3 hours and thankfully my body did react and start to produce. Each pump session resulted in me producing a little bit more than the session before. 

She was still not in a position to take a bottle but she was still receiving my milk. At the beginning, her feedings were made up of primarily my breast milk with a little extra as formula. For example, she would receive a 22ml feeding, 15 ml by me and the remaining 7ml being formula. I was thankful that in a matter of a day or two, I was turning in enough milk to the fridge that her feedings became strictly my breast milk. It felt like a huge accomplishment.

Pumping is not easy though. It can be uncomfortable. It's extremely time consuming. I stressed over it and if I was producing enough. I felt a responsibility to be rigid and consistent in how often I was doing it so she would have what she needed. 

She was being fed every three hours during 'cares'. This was our chance where we'd often get to hold her. So even if she wasn't taking a bottle, they still offered us the chance to be involved in some way. I based my pumping schedule around these 'cares' times. Every 1.5 hours I was either participating in 'cares' or pumping. 

After every pump you have to wash all the parts. Before you know it, you're having to make sure they are dry and continually repeating the process. You're concerned about if you're making enough because as she grows, the amount she needs does too. I would stare at the bottles the entire pump session. And despite the praises from family and nurses about the amounts I was turning in, it still felt like I wasn't doing enough.

After a few days she did begin taking bottles and I requested to meet with a lactation consultant again to see if nursing could ever be in our future or would pumping be our only option.

Our meeting with the lactation consultant went well. We learned she had no barriers to overcome in terms of a tongue-tie. At this point our biggest hurdle was that due to her being premature she wasn't developed enough to latch. A bottle was truly easier for her. Nursing required too much energy and exertion on her end, especially being premature. The lactation consultant provided me with a nipple shield that would allow her to breastfeed but would present the breast in a way more like a bottle, reducing some of the energy needed.

There was so much concern about making sure she was getting enough and continuing to grow that we didn't really nurse until we were home. You can track how much you're giving if it's through a bottle. You can't tell how much she's getting if it's directly from the breast.

Being home and nursing, even with a nipple shield, still brought on concerns and worry. I'm going to have to return to work and won't be available for her to nurse with, meaning I need a supply that she can have via bottle when that time comes. So, just because we were nursing, didn't mean I could stop pumping. 

I stressed over figuring out that schedule. I wanted to pump to build up the supply, but if I pumped would there be enough available for her when it was time to nurse? And if there was some for when it was time to feed, would it be enough to ensure she was still continuing to grow and progress? 

The fixation about making enough was consuming. I researched the tips and tricks. I still stared at the bottles while pumping. I started eating and drinking things that were supposed to help increase production. Everything and everyone kept saying, "the more you demand from your body, whether nursing or pumping, the more your body will produce". And yet, I didn't believe that. There was still this constant feeling of what I was doing, still wasn't enough, despite everyone telling me otherwise.

We continued with the schedule of feeding every 3-3.5 hours once home. I would pump in between each feeding. And just when it felt like we were getting a routine, the doctors told us she needed to be eating closer to every 2.5-3 hours as they wanted to see her gain more. 

How? How was I supposed to make that work and continue to pump? I barely felt like I could get anything else done other than nurse and pump when we were on the 3-3.5 hour schedule. The stress and anxiety climbed once again. I remember breaking down one morning and declaring I didn't know if I could keep doing this. Ultimately, as a family, we implemented a schedule that works best for us, both physically and mentally. We've still been able to nurse and pump.

I've had to learn to let go and trust that what I'm doing is enough. As a parent all you want to do is provide for your child. You want to be able to give them everything they need and want. I have had to step back and realize that I am doing just that.

She never ends a nursing session indicating she hasn't had enough. And if she's had enough, that means I'm producing enough. I've had to learn that staring at the bottles while pumping is only going to stress me out. I recently was sent an article that says to cover the bottles with socks, so you can't see the amounts. By not seeing them, it actually allows you to produce and release more because you aren't sitting there the entire time worrying about it. Sometimes easier said than done but I try not to let the amount I've produced from pumping get to me. That concern that she's only going to continue to need larger amounts the older and bigger she gets, I'm having to let go of. If it ends up not being enough, we will supplement and that's okay. I have to remember my stance from before she was even here, as long as she is fed, that is all that matters.

I'm doing what I can. Just a day or two after her turning one month old, I had 50 bags of milk in the freezer. 5022 ml. And at just under 7 weeks old, I've doubled that and we now have over 100 bags frozen. I haven't done the math to see how much milk it is, but it still feels like a large accomplishment considering where we started. That's how I felt with her latching on Sunday evening, another amazing accomplishment knowing where we started. 

Now that I'm a Mom and I'm experiencing this journey, I understand the pressure and judgement that can be out there. We, as mothers, put so much pressure on ourselves and then to get it from others, it's heartbreaking. Just recently Ashley Graham spoke out about the criticism she received for stopping nursing her twins after 5 months and switching to formula. It's truly sad. Whether it's nursing or formula, her children were provided for and that's all that matters. That goes for every Mama out there.

I have no idea where our journey with nursing and pumping will go. I have a general idea of how long I'd like it to last but I also know things can change. Not even 2 months in and what a learning experience it's been. I know that will only continue. I'm no expert, I'm just trying to figure it out as I go. But I am proud to be giving this my best effort despite how difficult it can be. 

I wish all Mama's the best and cheer you on no matter what method you're using to feed your child. Keep up the good work!

Monday, January 30, 2023

Mom-diggity

3.5 years since my last post.

How do you start over and begin writing again after that amount of time? Honestly, I'm not sure. I read through old posts and truthfully took quite a few down. Not that I was ashamed by anything I'd previously shared, but because the person who wrote those is not the same person today. Life is not the same as then. Honestly, it's so much better.

So, why now? Why start writing again?

I've found inspiration.

On December 22, 2022 I gave birth to the most perfect and beautiful baby girl. I became a mom. 

Mom - A title I've dreamed of having since I was a little girl. And now that she is here and it's real, that name has become more meaningful than I could have ever imagined.

This little girl has stirred my desire and inspiration to write again. Maybe because I don't want to forget these moments and experiences. Also because I've learned so much through these experiences. There's been things I have known nothing about. And the posts that have meant the most to me from when I first started this blog are the ones where I shared my experiences with the hope to help others experiencing the same thing. So they know they aren't alone.

I'm excited and nervous to begin again. Excited because writing was always something I enjoyed. Nervous because I'm still learning every day but just trying my best. I don't have all the answers but as a family we are trying our best to figure it out. There's no parent handbook with all the answers.

I hope you all are ready to go on this journey with me.

It's time to transition this space from 'The Corner of Awesome & Bombdiggity' to The Corner of Awesome & MOM-DIGGITY!

Thursday, August 15, 2019

It Wasn't For Forever

I had told myself I would never write this post.
It was too personal.
It's something that should remain private.
But what if sharing my experience can help someone else? So they know they aren't alone and can make it through it.

I had been open on my blog about my relationship, engagement and the excitement of becoming a Mrs. I was in love and looking forward to the happily ever after.

I never expected what was coming my way.

Less than 6 months before our wedding, my fiance came home from work and announced that things were over and the wedding was off.

There hadn't been a screaming match. There was no intense argument leading up to this day. There really hadn't been any signs this was about to happen. When I say this was completely out of the blue, I mean it.

We'd sent our Save the Dates the week prior. The venue was booked. The reception was booked. The photographer was booked. The wedding planner was booked. The bridesmaids and groomsmen had been asked. The wedding dress was picked. We'd tasted cakes. Decorations were purchased. The honeymoon - you guessed it - booked.

In a matter of seconds it felt like my world came crashing down and my heart shattered.

I remember wanting and needing to know why this was happening. Why now? What had changed? Was there someone else? He'd promised to love me for forever.

It's an explanation I never got. So, I blamed myself.

Clearly I must have done something wrong. I must not be good enough. I had to have been the problem since I was the one being left. I felt like a failure. So much so, that it took me until the next morning to go home and tell my parents what had happened. I felt like they were going to be ashamed of me.

In two days I packed my belongings and moved back home with my parents.

With every passing second, minute, hour, and day, I questioned how I was going to continue on. How was I going to get through this? For a while, I really didn't think I would.

I struggle when trying to explain to others how this type of pain and hurt feels. It's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. We may not have been married but I'd committed myself emotionally as if we were. That's what an engagement meant to me, the wedding itself just made things legal. It's like experiencing a death. That person had been such an integral part of your life and then suddenly they're gone. You have to face reminder after reminder of them, only to remember that they're gone. Objects, places, smells, songs...you'd be surprised how many things can remind you of a person or a memory. 

His life went on like nothing had ever happened. I was left to cancel all the arrangements, pick up the pieces of my broken heart and learn to believe in and love myself again.

For a while, I felt like a shell of a human. I went through the motion of life but I wasn't actually present. I forced myself to eat one meal a day, I had no appetite. I struggled to sleep because he haunted my dreams. I felt like I could cry in an instant. Panic attacks and anxiety attacks were a real and often occurrence. As a family we could no longer visit one of our favorite restaurants because I had a panic attack every time we walked in the door because I worried he'd walk in while we were there.

I feared running into him. Originally because I was so unsure of how I would react if I saw him. Would I cry, would I stand strong?  Then the fear of seeing him transitioned into a fear of them. One month after our split and he was already involved in a serious relationship. How would I react if I saw the man who broke my heart and the girl who took my place?

The emotions came in phases as I tried to heal and move on. It started as that severe hurt and betrayal. I'd loved him so of course I was sad and hurt. Around month 2-3 it transitioned into hating him. And I stayed in the hate phase for quite a while. But I had always been told, "There's a fine line between love and hate, learn to find the feeling of indifference."

So that's what I did. I've spent the last 2+ years focusing on me and figuring out how to let go and move on.

It's amazing how much can change in such a short amount of time. I've come out on the other side so much happier, stronger, and healthy. It's difficult to express how much I've learned.

I learned that my way of thinking during this time was so skewed and inaccurate. Instead of loving myself I chose to forget who I was and what I was capable of.

My parents would never be ashamed of me because my wedding was called off. They have always been loving and supportive and that multiplied as I faced this difficulty. I also never should have blamed myself for the wedding being called off. It was not my fault. I had done nothing wrong. I had given him my all and he chose to not accept that. I learned that while he had been an important part of my life, he wasn't my whole life. Life had been good before him and it would be good without him. I didn't need him in order to continue on living. I'm capable of chasing goals and thriving with or without a partner.

This experience reminded me to value my happiness. Do things that genuinely make you happy. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and who love you for you. Know your worth and what you're deserving of.

I wish I could tell you there's one simple solution to move on from a situation like this but there really isn't.

I've made it to where I am because of a combination of so many things.
- Time - give yourself time.
- I went to counseling because I knew this would cause deeper emotional damage than I would expect. I also needed a neutral sounding board to process the entire thing.
- I surrounded myself with family and friends who mean the world to me. People who have never made me question where I stand with them. They've always had my back and always will. Those people know who they are and I can't say thank you enough.
- I found and did things that made me happy. Being outdoors, football, baseball, reading, creating new goals for myself (check out the new homeowner blog for an insight into my biggest goal) and creating new memories.
- I also allowed myself some grace. This experience was new and I was learning as I was went. There was no how-to guide.

I'm still learning and I'm still healing. I have found the indifference rather than love or hate. That doesn't mean I don't have things I still struggle with though. For example, I struggle with the idea of commitment now. Once bitten, twice shy. I'll eventually get there but it takes time.

Everything happens for a reason. I'm a big believer in this. We may not know why it's happening in the moment but one day we will understand. I am able to tell you now that my failed engagement prevented me from heading down a path that wasn't right for me.

If you're going through this, know you aren't alone. It may be one of those cliche topics that isn't talked about but this does happen. In the two years since my split, I've known multiple people to experience this same thing. We've been in your shoes. We know how you feel. But we also know, you can do this. You are strong. You will heal. You can continue on. You are enough and you deserve the kind of love that's talked about in fairy tales.  ❤

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

I Am A Homeowner

One year ago, I sat in my cousin's kitchen while getting my hair done and stated that within a year I would be a homeowner. 

Well, on April 9th, 2018, I'm happy to say that goal was checked off of my list.

I think, at first, people thought I was just being rash. This drastic change had happened in my life and that I must be determined to do something big, make a statement. Changes happen and people do all sorts of things - but it's usually things like cutting or dying your hair. Which, I did. Remember, I was getting my hair done when I stated my goal.

Buying a home was bigger than that to me.

I've spent the last year really working on myself. Learning who I am again. Being confident in who I am. Loving who I am.

With that learning experience you realize what you're capable and worthy of.

There was no reason, I, a single, hard-working woman couldn't buy a home on my own. I believed in myself. I could do this and I wanted to do this - FOR ME! I wasn't doing this for anyone else but myself.

There were people who didn't think I could do it. Some even told me so. People love to doubt what you're capable of.

"How can you afford to buy a house?"
"Your parents have to be paying for this..."
"The only way you'll be able to afford this is if you get a roommate."
"You realize you're responsible for it all. There's no maintenance man to call when something breaks like there would be if you rented."

Sometimes the comments would sting. Why do they feel the need to doubt me? More than anything, it added to my desire of wanting to do this even more.

"Sometimes,
the most powerful thing
of all
to be
is underestimated."

It made accomplishing this so much sweeter. It reminded me of how people thought it was odd I wanted to go into the IT field. "Women don't belong in that line of work." Well, I'm in it and I'm doing just fine.

I knew what I was capable of and I knew I would/could do it - Both in my career and buying a home.

So it began...I saved, I kept an eye on the market, and when I was ready I asked to be put in contact with a realtor. I did a walk through of the home and that night put in an offer. From there, the rest was history.

Overall, it was a smooth and easy process. I truly picked a great first home. I've learned so much about the home buying process. I've made great friends in my realtor, mortgage broker, and home inspector. Things couldn't have gone better and I owe a great deal of that to the great team I had around me.

Since settlement, it's been a work in progress. I wanted to get all the cleaning and painting done prior to moving in. I felt that having to move around furniture would slow down that process. Now, I'm able to get it done and have it be right. (Details on the work I've done will follow)

It actually took a while for it to sink in that I own a home. There's still times that I'll walk in, sit down, and just stare at everything around me. Soaking it all in that I did it, that it's mine.

"She believed she could, so she did."

I bought a home on my own. There was no "gift money" from family. There was no inheritance. I paid for it by myself with money I'd worked hard to earn and save. I've purchased all the furniture and appliances I needed by myself too. I've also decided not to have a roommate at this time.

And I don't talk about doing it by myself in a "I'm rich and loaded with money" type of way. I say it more because I'm not rich and I'm not loaded.

It took a real and conscious effort to save and plan. Some of the savings were from when I was a kid. That money you got for your birthday or Christmas that I chose to invest and build rather than buy the latest toy. I'm grateful to have parents who know the importance of putting money aside. I also shopped around for my furniture until I found exactly what I wanted at the price I was willing to pay. I didn't just walk into a furniture store and say I'll take the first thing I saw. That mentality didn't fit into my budget. I think it's important to set a budget and stick to it. Everything adds up fast and if you aren't careful you'll be in over your head in no time.

Most 26 year-olds don't have the opportunity to do this by themselves. I'm grateful to be in the position I'm in. I'm excited to make the place mine and have it feel like home. I've been envisioning it since I first walked through the house and it's going to be great to see it become reality.

Would you like to see or hear about some of the transformations I've done? Stay tuned...

Friday, April 6, 2018

Oh, how I've missed you...

"Sometimes the greatest way to say something is to say nothing at all... "

It's been quite some time since I've written a blog entry.

Sometimes it's necessary to step away for a while. In fact, for me I made it a requirement. I wanted to write. I wanted share. But at the same time, I didn't. So, I didn't.

About a year ago, my life took a complete 180. There's no exaggeration about that. My life was headed in one direction and then one day it all came to a screeching halt. Upended, spiraled, twisted, flipped - however you want to describe it, it happened.

And I'm not here to discuss or rehash what took place then. The past is in the past and nothing will change that. In fact, at this point, when I think back to it, I wouldn't change a thing. It happened for a reason. You learn things when your world flips. And oh what I know now! Trust in the path you're put on despite how rocky and terrifying it may be at the beginning. Slowly but surely that light reveals itself until you no longer see that dark black speck from your past.

I've missed writing. I've missed keeping up with my blog. There's been plenty of times I've wanted to write about life, what's happening in the world, my stance and take on things. Instead I've waited, slowly but surely, knowing that the right time would come to reenter this world. April felt like the right time.

A wise person once told me, it takes a year to fully move on from something. In the past year, I've found this to be very true.

Take that year to create new memories, new traditions, new everything. A year to develop and grow without that piece that's now missing.

Do you wallow and pout with the change ahead of you or do you grab hold and take it on full speed?

I've been going full speed. So much change, so much that's good, so much happiness.

I hope you all are ready to hear what's been going on and the journeys I have ahead, because there's a lot of them.

2017 was a year filled with healing, resilience, and perseverance

2018 will be a year filled with continuing down this path and watching all that I've worked for in the last year come to fruition

Are you ready? Because I know I sure as hell am!

Monday, May 8, 2017

Do the positives of social media really outweigh the negatives?

Social media is a large part of most people's lives. Whether it's Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, there's at least one of these you've chosen to participate in, if not all of them. And we check them often. What are other people up to? Oh look, there's photos from Point-to-Point yesterday. You document your whole trip to Baltimore and back in multiple 10 second clips.

It's great. It's convenient. It's so easy to do. And with smartphones, it's always at your fingertips.

But is it really as great as we think? Does it cause more problems in our lives than we're aware of?

Think about it.

How many filters did you scroll through so that you look your best?
How many selfies did you have to take before you got that one that was finally acceptable to share?
How many times do you check your posts to see how many likes you have?
What's the latest and greatest gossip going on in other people's lives?

We constantly share, but it's always filtered in some way.

Can't share this photo, I look like I have a double chin.
Can't state what I'm really thinking or feeling because it'll upset someone.
I don't want to change or update this because I don't feel like dealing with all the attention that will come from it.

We've become so insecure about who we really are and I think that's because social media has created this standard that if you post something, you better be ready for the opinion that's coming your way, whether it's a positive or negative one.

We've become so scared of the negative that we strive to always show the best instead of showing the truth.

There is so much power that's held over our heads because we rely so much on the reaction we get from others. The smallest of things can stir emotions.

Did you see so-and-so's relationship status changed?
- Take a step back and think about what those two people might be feeling depending on how that relationship status changed
He/She didn't like my picture so they must not find me pretty.
- If you don't feel pretty, you can't expect others to feel that way about you
Maybe if I un-tag myself from everything or delete a post it'll act like it never happened.
- We all saw it. It still happened. Once it's out there in the cyberworld, it's out there, no matter how much you try and erase it
I can't believe so-and-so supports xyz. I could never support something like that.
- You don't know everyone's story, so try learning more before jumping to conclusions. Agree to disagree.

Judgement is cast so easily today and more times than not, it's negative not positive.

Why can't we support one another? You don't have to agree with everyone and all of their opinions but that doesn't mean you have to bash them either. That's the joy of being different. You don't have to be the same as everyone else and that's okay.

Learn to love yourself and not care about the filter or if it's your best angle. You don't need to try and fit the stereotypes that have been put out there. Show what you really look like. They'll see the truth when they see you in person anyway.

Also, don't have your life revolve around what's going on in others lives. Unless that person is closely related to you or it affects you directly, there is no reason for it. It's one thing to care about people and what they are experiencing, it's another to insert yourself into their situation.

So, the next time you go to post or share on social media, take a step back and look at the situation. Are you positively contributing or no? Are you posting for you or for others?

I've been absent from social media for almost a month and for me that was the positive thing to do because of the negative I could face which is something that I didn't need. Not because I'd done anything wrong but because I didn't need the opinions and interference of everyone else.

Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Remember you are enough and that you don't need the acceptance of others to determine that. Celebrate in the joys of others and comfort those who are struggling. The world around you will also continue to revolve if you don't check all of social media every second of every day.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Wedding Dress Shopping

I stumbled across an article yesterday that normally I wouldn't read. But this one caught my eye. Probably because it had to do with an activity I've actually been doing lately...wedding dress shopping. The article was called "12 Things Nobody Tells You About Wedding Dress Shopping". A large part of me wanted to see how applicable it was to my own experience. So here's my comparison.

1. Wedding dress shopping is exhausting

I've only been wedding dress shopping twice. Once in November and once just a few weekends ago. The first time I went trying on wedding dresses, I didn't feel it was exhausting at all. It was on a Friday night so I'd finished an 8 hr day of working. I probably tried on about 10 dresses too. Maybe because it was the first time, the excitement of it all outweighed the process but I really did enjoy myself. Now my second trip...oh that was a different experience. I was tired by the end. The dresses felt heavier than I remembered from the first shopping trip. Was that possible? This trip was in the morning so I thought I would have been refreshed from a nights sleep but after more than a dozen dresses I was ready for a nap. I guess my recommendation would be to only visit one store in a day. Any more than that and it becomes too much.

2. Not every wedding dress boutique is going to shower you with champagne

100% true. Now neither of the boutiques I visited had champagne. I was okay with that. I wasn't there for a drink, I was there for a dress. I think what I'd like to share most on this topic is that not every boutique is going to give you the attention you feel you deserve. My first trip, I had a single person who was there to help me into each dress, pull dresses for me to try on, etc. My second boutique trip I had someone but they only pulled the dress for me. My mom ended up helping me into each dress and we were really the ones left to do everything. I was surprised as I'd heard nothing but good reviews regarding the customer service at the 2nd boutique but it certainly wasn't something I experienced there. Do your research to make sure you're going to get what you want out of the experience at the boutique.

3. The wedding dress you end up getting will probably looking NOTHING like the one you've always dreamed about

This one blew me away. I really didn't think this could be true but it 100% was. I had an image in mind before I started shopping of what I thought my dress would look like. What I've ended up choosing does have a few features from what I had in mind but it also has a few that were complete opposites of what I expected. Be open minded.

4. Which is why you should be open to trying on any and all dresses

Yes. Try it all on. My salesperson had brought me a dress and she even said "don't judge it until you try it on". This is their job. They see people try on dresses all day every day. They know what looks good on certain body types. It's important to remember that you still have the final say. I was lucky enough that my sales person was spot on. The dress I've chosen is the one she picked out for me. If she hadn't brought that dress for me to try, I probably never would have found it.

5. Don't buy a wedding dress you have to talk yourself into

I feel lucky that I found my dress and I found it pretty quick. I think of all the dresses I tried on before and after the one that really caught my eye. They were all nice dresses but they weren't MY dress. Don't settle. Find the one you really want.

6. Also don't buy a dress that makes you self-conscious

 Buy a dress that makes you feel beautiful. I felt so comfortable in the dress that I chose. It showed off my features and curves well. I knew I felt beautiful in it the moment I walked out of the dressing room and saw myself in the mirror. The expression that came across my face made that clear. I also wasn't wearing crazy spanx or anything like that when I tried it on. I felt that was a good sign.

7. You should feel beautiful in your dress at all angles

Take photos from every angle, if the store allows it. Something might look great from the front and awful from the back. You want something that looks good from anywhere.

8. You don't have to buy all your accessories at once

I haven't even started looking at accessories yet. I knew that once I had my dress I could look anywhere for accessories to go with it. I also know that depending on the type of veil I want, my mom can likely make it versus buying it.

9. The less people you take with you, the better

This is a tough topic. I took a group with me my first shopping trip and I was 100% okay with that. I had a total of 7 people with me. Most people think that's a lot. It was important to me though to include certain people in the experience. It's a once in a lifetime experience. Now my 2nd shopping trip, I only took my mom and my maid of honor. I wasn't into doing a whole ordeal of a shopping trip. I wanted it low key and it was. I'm also glad I didn't have as many people the second time since the shop wasn't as impressive and welcoming.

10. Your opinion is the only one that matters

 The more people you take, the more opinions. Luckily I didn't have to worry about that even with taking 7 people. Everyone listened to what I had to say and didn't butt in with their opinions first.

11. You might not find "the one" until you've almost given up

I can't speak from experience on this one. Remember to be patient.

12. You'll know it when you find it...but there doesn't have to be tears!

It was written all over my face when I found "the one". I didn't cry though. My maid of honor may have but I didn't. It didn't mean that I wasn't in love with my dress though. Everyone is different. As long as you know it's the dress for you and you're excited about it, that's all that matters.


Less than 8 months and I'll be able to share the dress I've chosen!!! It'll be here before I know it :) Happy Saturday everyone!